1 Month Birthday Letter

Today Belle, you are one month old. I want to start a tradition between you and I where I write you monthly letters for the first year of your life. Then after that, I'll probably just commit to yearly letters. These letters will be my little recap of what you've been up to and what milestones you reached that month.

So, here we go.

Dear Belle,
I can't believe you are one month already. It really does feel like your dad and I were just in the hospital waiting for you to arrive. You came into this world via c-section, thanks to your inability to sit still. My guess is that you being a wiggle worm will come up in many many more letters to you because now that you are out of mama's stomach, you are just as much a wiggle worm as you were in my stomach! Your birth was one of the greatest moments of your mom and dad's life. The day we found out we were pregnant we already loved you more than we could describe, but to actually hold and touch you for the very first time was something so special it's so hard to put into words. Carrying you for 40 weeks and 6 days I felt we had a strong connection. I talked to all the time and you, well you kicked me. All of the time. I wasn't sure how long it was going to take your dad and you to connect though. He talked to you every night and I remember seeing no greater joy on his face than the first time he had his hands on my stomach and felt you. I had no need to worry about your connection with your dad though because you were only about 2 minutes old when your dad walked over and was able to cut your umbilical cord, talk to you and help clean you up. I was still on the operating table and could not see either of you, but I could hear your dad talking to you and calming you down. Only you two know what was said, but whatever it was, it was very clear to me that from that moment on, you were going to be a daddy's girl. I myself baby girl am a daddy's girl, so I am perfectly ok with you being a daddy's girl as well. Stick with me and I can teach you a thing or two about getting things from that dad of yours!!! :)

Everyday of your first month has been a day of learning for each of us. Your dad and I took a ton of classes before you were born and even after all those classes when we brought you home we still felt so unprepared. Thankfully we all survived your first month. Truthfully, after your first week, you were winning. Have no fear though, we are figuring it out and you won't get the upper hand on us for much longer!

Thank you for being such a good baby. Your dad and I know how lucky we are. You can continue to spoil us with sleeping 6 hours throughout the night anytime you want! So far you've only done it once in this first month of life, but I am very grateful for the extra sleep!

We are so in love with you sweet Belle. Not just your mom and dad, but  all 4 of your grandparents and your aunties and uncle! You amaze us everyday with your good nature and your strength. You are one strong newborn! You are already holding your head up by yourself and when you get those frog legs of yours going, you look like you are already ready to walk. Don't grow up too fast little one. Your mama and daddy are trying to soak in every moment with you.

We aren't sure if you're going to be a red head or a blondie, or if you're going to have green eyes or blue. Only time will tell. Right now our days are just spent feeding you, changing you and kissing on you every chance we get. Speaking of feeding you, one day when you're older and you understand breast feeding ask me to tell you about my experience breast feeding you. I really hope when you have children of your own, you don't have nearly the difficulty that I've had with you. If you do, know that I will feel really really bad for you, but I will probably tell you a number of times that you made me pump every two hours because you will not (even after a month) breast feed correctly. I'm still holding out hope that someday soon, you will just get it. Everyone tells me that day is coming, but just so you know, you are winning on this one too. I'm trying really hard to not let you beat me, but you are wearing me down. But really, I'm a tough cookie to break, so game on. You're going to get this whole breast feeding thing if it kills me. And it just may. So, if your children are just as difficult as you were, keep trying. You'll be stronger than they are, I know you will be.

Thanks for a wonderful first month Belle. We'll keep loving on you next month just as much as we have this first month. All we need you to do is keep growing and to stay healthy. Leave the hard work to us.

Love,
Mom and Dad

3 Week Appointment

Yesterday we had our 3 week appointment with our pediatrician. Belle is up to 7 lbs and 15 oz and she grew an inch too! I think because I see her everyday that to me, she doesn't seem any bigger. But then again, I look at pictures of her when she was born and she does look bigger to me. By next week she should be 8 lbs! 

Ok, where did I leave off from my last post....aahh yes, the c-section. They took me back to the operating room by myself and they had me get up on the operating table and basically just wait. When I first got in there, there was only the one nurse, then others started to show up and get set up. It was really a unique experience to be sitting on the operating table, watching them get all set up for your surgery. They came in and were counting all the equipment and laying everything out. It was really just a surreal situation. I was sitting there so scared and feeling very alone. Lance was in some room by himself waiting to be let in and all my family and friends were in the waiting room. All the operating room staff were all running around getting everything ready and nobody even said a word to me while they were setting up. It was weird. I had a nice conversation with Belle since nobody needed us to do anything. It really calmed my nerves to be able to talk to her. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my spinal block. It didn't hurt which I was happy about! They told me to make sure I told them when I started to feel nauseous and it happened twice. I guess my blood pressure was getting really low so that was what was causing me to feel (and get) sick. When the surgery was about to start, I started to panic because I could still feel my legs. I said to the nurse, wait, I can still feel my legs. She got a funny look on her face and said, you can? I said yes! Then she said move your toes. So I did. Then she said, are you moving them? I said yes, and she said no you're not. hahahaha I seriously felt like I was moving my toes so for her to tell me I wasn't, that was creepy! 

I was so happy when they finally brought Lance in. It felt like it had been forever since I had seen him. When he came in they had him sit at my head and we were blocked from seeing anything from my waist down. Lance came in and kissed me on the forehead and then it was go time. The nurses and doctors were doing their thing and Lance and I were pretty much in our own little bubble. We started talking about how excited we were that our daughter would be with us shortly, but I could tell both of us were nervous. We just wanted our little Isabelle to be here and be told that she was healthy and that she had all 10 fingers and toes. 

Since we couldn't see anything, we had no idea when they were going to pull her out. When they went to pull her out, my body went into convulsion type movements. It was so weird because I had no control over the fact my body was moving up and down as they were trying to pull her out of me. Lance described it perfectly as taking a cork out of a wine bottle. You wiggle it out until it's out. That's what they were doing with Belle, until, she was out. We actually didn't know when she was out because she didn't start crying like you see in the movies. We figured it out though because my body stopped going into the weird convulsion movements. The nurse took her over to the side of the room and that's when Lance got the first glimpse of her. When he told me he could see her, I told him to go over there and get a closer look. When he went over there I had no idea what was going on and I couldn't hear a whole lot because it was so loud. Every once in awhile I could hear him talking to her. She never really did cry and freak out, she remained pretty calm the whole time. I couldn't make out a whole lot of what Lance was telling her but I could hear the tone of his voice and it was so calming and soothing and loving. I was laying there with tears in my eyes. The two loves of my life were meeting for the first time. For 10 months Lance took care of me, therefore taking care of her. I got the great experience of being able to feel her all day and to be able to spend literally every moment with her for 10 months. Being that Lance can't carry a child, he could only bond with her from the outside. Until she arrived. Then it took .2 seconds for them to be connected as one. The anesthesiologist leaned over and said to me, she has daddy wrapped around her little finger already. hahaha I just laughed and said, she sure does. 

It seemed like Lance was over there with Belle forever and he finally came over and showed me a picture. It was the first time I was able to see my baby girl. It was awesome. I was a little sad that the first time I was seeing my daughter was from a picture, but it is what it is. I was just thrilled she was so healthy and everything was going well! The nurse said that they were going to take Belle to the recovery room and I told Lance to make sure he went with her. The nurse picked her up and started to walk out of the room with her and I still hadn't seen her yet. I was starting to cry and the anesthesiologist said wait wait, let her meet her mama. Yay!!! Then either the nurse, or the anesthesiologist took pictures, when I got to meet my daughter for the first time. I'm not sure who took them, but I am eternally grateful. I LOVE these pictures. 

After I got to meet Belle, the nurse, Lance and the baby went to the recovery room. That part sucked because I was still stuck in the operating room completely alone (well sort of alone, all the medical staff was still there) but this time I didn't have my daughter to talk to. They finished sewing me up and then the OB, Dr. Bull came over and talked to me and told me that the way she was positioned even if she would have stayed head down, there was a 50% chance I would have ended up in a c-section because even if she would have stayed head down, she still wasn't facing the right way. That would have been a real bummer to labor for hours and hours and then still end up in a c-section. I am glad that scenario didn't play out. :)

Well, this post is long enough, so I'll stop here. When Lance is home with us on weekends, I'm able to blog more since he is around to help with the feedings and the holdings and diaper changes. We love when daddy is home!! We sure do miss him during the week! 

Have a good weekend!

Love,

Suzanne

Isabelle Has Arrived

Our beautiful baby girl has arrived! She's 18 days old now and we are still trying to get used to one another. :) Lance and I are so deeply in love with her we feel like she has been a part of our lives forever.

As you all know from my last post, she had flipped back into the correct position so the c-section that was scheduled for July 20th was cancelled. We had another appointment scheduled with my OB on Wednesday, July 25th to meet with him in case I hadn't gone into labor yet. Which, by the 25th, I was no where near going into labor. I was still only 1cm dilated and had not had any contractions. Since I wasn't progressing my OB, Lance and I decided we would come back Thursday, July 26th at 11:30pm to be induced. Dr. Gleeson had me come in at 11:30pm because my induction wasn't going to be normal. Since I was only 1cm dilated, they were going to insert a balloon into my cervix to stretch it out to about 5cm's and then at that point they were going to give me the pitocin to get me from 5cm to 10cm.

Thursday was a pretty surreal day since we had all day to think about Belle arriving that night. Lance took the day off work and we just ran some errands trying to get everything in order before she arrived. That night we had a nice dinner with my parents and sisters, and Lance's parents. It would be our final dinner with no baby.

July 26th Lance and I headed into the hospital at 11:30pm to get set up to be induced. We were definitely nervous! The nurses took us back to our labor and delivery room and we started all the questions, paperwork, tests etc. Thankfully for me, they did an ultrasound before they actually started the induction. I say thankfully, because when they did the ultrasound the doctor discovered that (wait for it, wait for it) she flipped again. O.M.G. She flipped back out of position from Wednesday to Thursday night. Lance and I couldn't believe it. This time her shoulder was down in the birth canal which meant they would not be able to induce and they would have to do a c-section. I couldn't believe it. So let's recap my little flipper. She was in the correct position all the way up to week 35. On week 35 we discovered she was breech. Week, 36, 37, 38 still breech. Week 39, she flipped back into birthing position and was no longer breech. Week 40 and 4 days she was still in the correct position, week 40 and 5 days, no longer in the correct position. Wow. And let me tell you, now that she's here, she still moves just as much out of the womb as she was moving in the womb!

I was really disappointed when they told me she had flipped again. The doctor working that night was actually the doctor that I had seen at week 20 when I had to go in because I was sick and dehydrated. We had discussed with her our options and really our only option was to have a c-section. Of course it was. I'm actually really glad that she flipped at week 35 so I had 4 weeks to get used to the fact I was going to have to have a c-section. If she wouldn't have flipped at 35, and this was the first we were discussing c-sections, it would have really been hard for me to handle the idea of having a c-section. But, I had weeks to get used to the idea so I was as ok with it as I could be. I really had no other option. LOL

The c-section was scheduled for 6am so Lance and I tried to get some sleep for a few hours in the hospital (which didn't happen, we were way too nervous to sleep) and then called all the family and friends at about 3:30am to let everyone know we would be going into surgery at 6am. Everyone showed up about 5:30am and we were all hanging out in our room until it was time to take me back for surgery. Lance got all scrubbed up, they took me back and we were off.

Lance put together this great video of Isabelle being born and her first hours of life. I'll blog more as I have time about how our first couple of weeks have been. We are doing well, I'm exhausted, but Belle seems to be doing well and that's all that matters to me.

Click here to view Belle's video.

Love,
Suzanne